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| So I decided to venture out this beautiful saturday to the mall in Columbia. It's one of the very few reasons why I'll ever venture up there. I walked into the Oakley store in hopes of finding some sunglasses, so I can look cool all summer long. (note to self: must post about people who insist on wearing sunglasses while indoors....)
Anyhow, I peruse through the glasses and try on a few pairs that I think i'll like. At this point, the salesperson comes up to me and asks me if i need any help. I don't know why they do that at a sunglass store...did you want to put these glasses on my face for me? Or maybe I could put them on your face to see how they would look in real life...
So I narrow my decision between 2, and both my friend and salesperson declare the clear winner. The Oakley Riddle sunglasses. I was pretty happy with the purchase...then i get home to look at the glasses online to see if perhaps there was a better deal online. I got on the oakley website, and the glasses were no where to be found...so i checked 2x and still nothing. then my stomach drops, and i click on to the womens section and there it is...the oakley riddle. One of the colors it comes in is hot pink!!!
Sigh...i'm hopeless.
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| I do have to say that Potbellys is one of the finest sandwich shops that I frequently patronize. I love any restaurant that you can go to, get the same thing every single time and never get tired of it. This is how I've managed to single handedly send those two boys from Panda to college...damn you general!
I don't think it really gets much better than the turkey on wheat with swiss cheese. Then they let it toast and simmer in its melty goodness, and then they ask what would you like on it? I used to be foolish and ask that they load it with everything they had. Mistake #1. I should've known that when a turkey on wheat starts to wet the brown bag with grease, that it was a warning sign.
Then while i'm waiting for the Potbelly expert to craft my sandwich, I look over to see a large jar with pickles. Mind you, these aren't your regular home grown pickles. These are grown in Roger Clemens backyard, they're literally the size of a Gorillas knee cap. The conversation in my head went something like this...
"Look at that pickle Jayson...it's glorious"
"yeah, but that can't be good for anyone..."
"Sold! I'll take it!" - Mistake #2
So i proceed to inhale my turkey on wheat with my mutant hulk of a pickle. The first time I had this, I experienced diziness, nausea, diarrhea. And yet, everytime i came back to Potbellies, i would get the same exact thing. This became so routine, that the workers new me before i even ordered it. One time, i actually thought about getting a wreck sandwich, but before i got up to the line they started making my turkey on wheat. I just shrugged it off and ate it, along with my pickle daddy.
So what's the lesson in all of this? I'm not quite sure...but i think i'll go to potbellies tomorrow.
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| So spring is upon us again, and I must say that I grow weary of this dreary weather. Nothing feels worse than having to go to work in the dark, and then drive home in the dark....well i could probably list a few things that feel worse but that's neither here nor there. The point is that winter is over, good riddance i say! I've always felt as if winter is like a guest who overstays their welcome, except that the guest doesn't really make you add on 15-20 lbs...which leads to my next point.
I've figured out that I share many traits with that of a bear. During the winter months, I'll usually add on a good 10-15 lbs as I indulge myself in fatty foods. I dont know why this urge overcomes all my other natural instincts, but it does. I can't find it, I can only let the transformation occur. In turn, I am awarded fantastical/mystical bear powers: I can sleep longer hours, be more grumpy, eat more, be more lethargic, and snore during nighttime...magical i know!
I've always wondered how bears get so fat by only eating fish like salmon. It must be from all that honey...damn you carbs! | | |
| So i've taken a minor break from xanga, I think the rest of the world is doing the same. Everyone's on facebook because they're too lazy to write. Write people! I love reading about how you ate an apple at 1:15 followed by a ham and cheese sandwich at 2:45. I'm going to try to make a point to write in this thing every week, not only to entertain but just to exercise my mind so it doesnt' get stale.
I've thought about the things that I go through on a daily basis, and i've come to the conclusion that my life is just one big GIANT awkward moment. Allow me to explain mon frere:
- I wake up and i go to work. The first thing you do is go up the elevator to go to work, and the MOST awkward moment of my day is sharing an elevator with a coworker that you barely know. For me this is just about everyone at work. You say hello...and then its like ok that's about all we have in common; that we both are in this elevator. Sometimes you strike up a conversation...and the elevator ride is too short to fit it all in. So as they're talking i'm leaving to get into my office and they dont get it...that i dont really care about how they watched the Apprentice: Celebrity version the night before. Please...let me get to my TPS reports.
More awkward than this, is that second as you're about to walk into that elevator, you see a coworker coming. Now, they're at this crucial junction where you could hold the elevator door for them, so you have this battle in your brain for a split second saying should i or shouldnt' i? And most likely you decide not to...and sometimes your coworkers will stare at you like you're kicking them off the survival raft from Titanic. Get over it! There'll be another elevator in 3 seconds.
However, sometimes God decides to play a cruel cruel trick on you...let me explain.
So you've kicked your coworker off the raft of Titanic and you're on your way up...but then the elevator makes a couple stops. So you wait....then back up to your floor. The elevator opens and you turn and who do you see?!!?! The very same person you decided to kick off the raft because you couldn't wait 5 seconds to hold the elevator door. Nothing beats that awkward moment...cuz they know what you've done. They know that you purposely started pressing that "Close" button as if it was going to shut like a steel trap door. So I say morning...and I hear a Hmph!
- Ok...i'm sorry if i didn't hold the elevator door for you. But can we act civil please? Would your life have been that much better had i held the door for you? Next time I will dive in front of the elevator door so you can shave off 2 seconds of your commute upstairs.
This is just one example of my awkward life..there are many more but i am too lazy and tired to elaborate. You shall wait and read later. | | |
| I love target. If there was a commercial about how great Target was, I'd be in it and I'd even do it for free. Since I work fairly close to a target, I end up going to Target during my lunch break to peruse their clothing/electronics/appliance sections. Which is why I found it so difficult to accept the fact that there is a product that is NOT great at Target....their pretzels. Yes...their pretzels.
I've tried their pretzels at the food section of the target...because inside those warmers they looked so juicy and glazed all over with sugar. So one day I bought one...the one with cinnamon and sugar all over it. Then the pretzel lady pulls one out from under the counter somewhere and starts putting glaze on it and heats it up. I thought to myself...why didn't she just take it out of the display case? I guess it must've been reserved for someone special...like the queen or something.
She gave me my pretzel and I handed her some monies for this trade agreement between Target and I. Usually the trade agreement is beneficial to both parties, but that time i felt that I did not receive a fair trade. The pretzel was oh so dry...and i kept eating the pretzel to see if it got better by the twisty middle, but that part was also dry. I gave Target the benefit of the doubt...and perhaps it was just that one pretzel. However, it happened to me a handful of times....oh Target you disappointed me so. So perhaps Target will never take the monopoly as the pretzel distributor...they still have much to learn.
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